Rebuilding Joy

When I was 13, I used to collect Legos all the time. I had so many sets, and building them made me incredibly happy. It was something I genuinely loved, a hobby that brought me so much joy. But as time went on, I fell into a deep depression. Nothing seemed to make me happy anymore, and I started seeing Legos as childish. I convinced myself that I had outgrown them, that they no longer had a place in my life. So, in a moment of hopelessness, I destroyed all of my Lego sets and threw them away. Looking back, I realize I wasn’t just giving up on Legos, I was giving up on a lot of things that once made me happy. In November, I moved to a new place, and while unpacking, I found something unexpected, a set of Lego flowers I had never been able to part with. They were broken, shoved inside a trash bag, along with the instruction book on how to rebuild them. At the time, I didn’t think much of it and left them as they were. Later that month, I decided to make a Christmas and birthday basket for my boyfriend, Carson. I picked out a kingfisher Lego set for him, one I had always wanted but chose to buy just for him. Carson lives in Utah for college, but he comes back whenever he can because the people he loves are here in California. When he visited, he surprised me with a Lego orchid. He knew about my love for Legos, even though I had abandoned that part of myself. He wanted to see if it could still make me happy. At first, I doubted it. It had been nearly two years since I had really engaged in any hobbies. Sure, there were things I did, but I never truly considered them hobbies anymore. But that night, we sat down together at his parents’ house and started building. Slowly, piece by piece, something inside me started to change. I felt a happiness I hadn’t felt in such a long time. For the week he was here, I ended up buying two more Lego sets and built them on my own, just to see if the happiness was only because Carson was there or if it was something deeper. And to my surprise, it truly did make me happy. It was strange realizing that I could find joy in something again, all on my own. Two weeks later, Carson came back for winter break, and by then, I had accumulated four more Lego sets. My mood had shifted. I felt lighter, more like myself again. Then, just yesterday, I went to Barnes & Noble and found a blue macaw Lego set. I already had a pink macaw set, and something about seeing the blue one sparked something inside me. It reminded me of me and Carson, two pieces that belong together. I love birds, I love Legos, and in that moment, it all just resonated with me. Carson helped me rediscover a part of myself that I thought I had lost forever. Some people might see Legos as just toys for kids, but to me, they’re a source of happiness, creativity, and healing. Now, I’ve collected 12 Lego sets and my collection is still growing, I also did rebuild those Lego flowers.